Maybe So…

July 20, 2009

Mini Rant #5 – Activities Week

Filed under: Life In General,School — squ1r3ll @ 5:00 pm
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I think it’s fair to say that Activities Week suck some serious dick. The point of Activities Week is to give some teachers a chance to piss all over us because we haven’t done our coursework and other teachers a chance to do sweet sweet fuck all for a week. That is, the teachers who don’t take us get to sit on their lazy teacher asses while we don’t have their lessons. Cheeky fucks. It even has a fucking stupid name!


June 26, 2009

Guest Post #3 – Winny on English Teachers

Filed under: Guest Rants,School — squ1r3ll @ 4:00 pm
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(OK, I’m not going to correct any of the spelling errors in this post as I think it makes it all the more enjoyable!)

What can I say there all bastards. Jus because a NAZI following power fucker gives them a job they can run the bloody school. They can do wat the fuck they want when it come to school but I would pay to meet them out side and se them on fire. As u can tell I feel very strongly for the death of all English teachers let me tell you y. it started with a teacher who I can only describes as though she was raped by a monkey at birth and from the very start she hated me, no not hated wanted to fuckin fail me. First she loses all my work this proper pissed me off so I got my parents to go in and talk to her she shit herself and decided to do all my work for me. Teaches her fuckin right, moody bitches all of them. At last she’d left the fuckin building only to find that her fuck ugly twin had replaced her, now this bitch, she was worse she made me want the monkey fucked at birth teacher back. She looked like an under privileged Nigerian butt plug maker. So the story goes on I finish my coursework with high Bs but that’s not fuckin good enough is it the fucker wanted As and I couldn’t give her fuckin As because I aint the brightest fucker when it comes to English but I aint the dumbest shit there either. And then the worst she threatens to stop me going on this trip at the end of the year typical feltcher so no matter wat the fucker says I goin so fuck all of erm. Now today me and my mate were on the topic of vagicil for those who don’t know (cream for women who have a rash on there Minge) I we said is there such a thing as anasil for ur arse then began a list of different ones such as sodisil for gays shaftasil bellendasil and my favourite necrofilasil which refers to my teacher. Now your thinking he’s jus goin say she goes out and uses it but I wont I’m saying she’s been the victim of it being used on because she looks like she needs a good moistening so in the end they’re all cunts.

(It did, right?)

June 12, 2009

Slags and Sluts

Filed under: Life In General,Rants,School — squ1r3ll @ 4:00 pm
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Why do some girls feel the need to rub up against every boy they can find? I just don’t get it… Right then, these slags love to piss everyone off. They suck off girls boyfriends. Hell, they’ve probably done shit to boys girlfriends as well. It’s not even like they feel regret at all for the shit they they’ve done. Fuck no, that would be to human. They fucking love it. The hatred that everyone looks at them with. The fake apologies that they give (‘I didn’t mean to suck him off at all, it just happened’). I swear that they prepare those beforehand so that they can make them sound as fake and pathetic as possible.

Who would shag one of these filthy birds anyway? They probably have every STD under the sun. AIDS, chlamydia, gonnorrhea, you name it, they carry it. I suppose only very desperate lads would put it in their filthy holes because these dumb whores really are whores. I suppose if you paid them enough, they would flash a teacher for you.

What’s with prostitutes anyway? I mean, I know that they have to get money and shit but come on, can’t you just not go into dangerous situations and get the shit beaten out of you. If your a rent girl then at least have a nonviolent pimp or an agency looking after you until you know what to do about scoping out situations and shit. That way, you can stay safe!

I guess the phrase ‘girls just wanna have fun’ has been blown wildly our of proportion. The bitches nowadays think that fun is sleeping with any guy that they can get their hands on and it kind of makes me sick. I sort of feel sorry for the guys who they sleep with as part of their little competition. This may not be fact but I bet some have even had competitions to see how many STD’s they can get in a week and shit like that. Or how many times they can take it up the ass in a day. You know, sick shit like that. Dirty fuckers. (which, in this case, is actually true!)

I just found a wonderful quote: ‘Are we simply romantically challenged, or are we sluts?’ Well, this sums it up. No you’re not romantically challenged, you just like fucking. You could have a real relationship if you really tried. I’m sure that if you just went out with a dude for a while, you would find out that fucking isn’t everything in a relationship. You can still fuck, you don’t have to be celibate, just don’t shag five times a day. Or you could try celibacy if you felt like a very strong person. But you probably don’t. So ‘just keep on fuckin.’ Not to advocate mindless shagging and shit like that but a bit of sex once in a while never hurt anyone. Unless you’re trying out some very strange positions. Don’t. You might hurt yourself. Karma Sutra is dangerous.


Kind of a small one there but I really hate slags. There you go!

June 10, 2009

Life Pt 1

Filed under: Life In General,Rants — squ1r3ll @ 4:00 pm
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Morning, bitches. This, as you can probably tell if you have upwards of a double-digit brain cell count, is going to be a series of rants that I will do whenever I basically have nothing else to talk about. That doesn’t mean that it will shit however. These will probably be the rants that I will add to every day or so and then release them as a kind of midweek special. So, with that explained for all of the dumb fuckers out there, I shall begin…


So, fuckers. Ranting about life. This could be devilishly easy or it could be very fucking difficult. As I have just had to go through the extreme pain of having injections, this should be easier. Injections are fucking stupid. Why must I have them?If countries like Africa and shit just got their act together, we wouldn’t have to have a cum-load of injections. If we can fuck using protection then so the fuck can they. We just need to take supply balloons overhead and drop a shitload of Trojan’s and Magnum’s and shit so that don’t ass-fuck each other butterball naked. Just sheath your sword you skanky cunts. Also, drink clean water! It can’t be that fucking hard.

Another thing that is getting on mine and the whole fucking schools collective tits is how much teachers tell students to TUCK THEIR SHIRTS IN! This pisses me off to the extreme and as most people know, that’s not a good idea. If you piss me off, you’re asking for it. Some clungefaced motherfucker decided to try his luck once… He didn’t do well. Anyway, these teachers are also hypocrites to a certain degree. Sure, some of them tuck their shirts (mainly the men) but the others (women) all wear dresses and shit so they can’t practice what they preach. Dick-faces. I know that this pisses most of the school off simply because a lot of students go around with their shirts purposely untucked and whenever a teacher tells them to tuck it in, they pretend to at the front and then untuck it when the teacher has gone around the corner. I am one of these people. Mainly because teachers all piss me off. They’re all cunt-muscles really. See the teachers post for more information.

The prospect of an archenemy is a strange one. In the words of Wikipedia ‘An archenemy, archfoe, archvillain or archnemesis (sometimes spelled arch-enemy, arch-foe, arch-villain or arch-nemesis) is the principal enemy of a character in a work of fiction, often described as the hero’s worst enemy.’ Whilst this may be true, I am, as far as I am aware, not living in a world of fiction, thus realistically negating the need for me to have an archenemy. Right? Wrong. If shit goes wrong, there is always someone to blame. It could be yourself of it could be your brother or sister. Most of the time it’s you. Something you’ve said or done. Well, at least, that’s what you think. Think of a time when you feel that you have done something wrong. Now, is there any possible way in which you could have been provoked? If you smacked your brother upside the head and he ran off crying because he is a little pussy, did he call you names like shit-face, fuck-wad or cum-guzzler? Did he grass (other meanings of ‘grass:’ tell on, dob, etc.) on you? Did he spit at you or any other random shit like that? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, it wasn’t your fault. Well, not entirely. If it was you younger brother or someone younger than you then sure, you should have had the maturity to not beat the living shit out of him but I bet it was fun, right? Or at least funny? Ha! Of course it was. You loved thumping the tits off them. On the other hand, if it was someone older than you, well done for having the scrote to hand their ass to them on a silver platter. Well I hope it was silver. Or gold. Or else that would have been very disrespectful… The act of beating the wanger of them wasn’t disrespectful at all. Unless it was your Granddad. Then you’re a little cunt-muscle. Anyway, after that MASSIVE tangent, back onto the subject at hand. My nemesis. He has a fucking HUGE head and he is extremely SHORT! I like to take the piss out of him (behind his back obviously because he and his little gang of bitches would beat the living shit out of me!) for these factors. He also speaks like a total GIMP. More ammunition. I smacked him once in the changing rooms though. Left handed. Then, he had none of his cronies or even mates to back him up so he fucked off in the opposite direction like a little pussy and I remember it actually brought tears to his eyes. Tears. What a pussy. Plus the fact that I hit him with my left hand and I am right handed! Woofter.

Social gatherings are another thing that fucks me off. Parties and such. With these things, you either go or you get called socially retarded. Why though? It’s just an ego fest. You either get pissed upon by the dick-faced twats or you piss upon the dick-faced twats. Neither is a really good idea because people think that you are either a pussy for being pissed on by everyone or a dick-wad for pissing on everyone. Not literally piss by the way. Verbal piss. Oh, you know what I mean. Or you should by now.


I think that’s it for pt 1. Looking forward to pt 2? I know you are…

June 3, 2009


Filed under: Life In General,Rants,School — squ1r3ll @ 10:04 pm
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For this rant I must firstly define some types of teachers:

  1. Great Teachers
  2. Good Teachers
  3. Crap Teachers
  4. Teachers Who Are Out To Get Students
  5. Teachers Who Are Blissfully Unaware


Ok, with those defined, I can move the fuck on. Every teacher that I have ever been taught by has had his or her own little quirk to the way that they teach, some more than others. Some have the overpowering and ‘scary’ approach where they are kind of oppressing and ‘If you don’t pay attention in my fucking class, I’ll rape the shit out of your mother!’ Which kind of fucks me off to be honest. Why do these people feel the urge to piss all over students and make them feel like shit. It’s bullying really and at my school, we have a ‘No Bullying’ policy. I think I’ll report some of the teachers to it and say that they are giving me shit that I don’t deserve.

First on the list, great teachers. Great teachers are really hard to find. They, unfortunately, are the minority. My German teacher last year was an awesome teacher. He had just the right teaching method for me and whatever he said, I would absorb and retain. Not like a fucking robot or anything, just the stuff that he taught us about German. Our maths teacher last year was also awesome. He would teach everyone the same thing and then for the less intelligent, he would take questions at the front and relate the answers to things that the student in question knows about. Then he would let us get on with it and I was one of the people who finished early so he would get the people who had finished to look up at the board and then he would give us a few hard questions to do to check that we have the basic concept down and the he would teach us a little bit extra on top of what we had just done so that we could get on with some more questions whilst the slow ones finished up. I also had a great teacher in Year 4 but I don’t remember her so much.

Now, onto good teachers. Good teachers are the ones that you learn from, but you either get a bit bored in their class because they don’t do enough to keep you glued to the lesson or they just don’t have great teaching methods. My current maths teacher is a good example of this. If he could control his class (the lesson would be more boring!) then we would learn so much more than we already do.

Oh, ho. Crap teachers. Or as I like to call them, clunge-monkeys, cunt-muscles or dickfaces. These are the hopeless ones. Some you feel sorry for as they are trying but haven’t got the nouse to realize that they suck at their job and some you just loathe because they are full of themselves but for no real reason. This is a perfect example of my ICT teacher. She thinks she is THE shit. Honestly sometimes, it scares me. She struts around the classroom going ‘Oh, that’s a lovely colour’ and ‘Oh, **** (that was a name) isn’t that wonderful.’ It sounds more condescending than it does helpful and she thinks that she is the judge, jury and executioner. She’s only a trainee teacher anyhow. She has pretty much fuck all authority. If I told her point blank to fuck off, she couldn’t do jack shit about it. But she thinks that she can. There’s not even a real teacher in the room because our actual teacher has fucked off and abandoned us for 12 months on maternity leave. A whole fucking 12 months! Fucking ridiculous. Dumb fucking clunge-munching bitch.

Teachers who are out to get students. Why in the holy name of fuck do these kinds of people get jobs in the education profession. It makes fuck all sense to me as they should really just be bodyguards or hit men or rapists or something like that. Once they have found their student to pick on, that’s it. That student’s life is over in that subject. Unless they are moving sets or something. Like me in English. Our teacher chose me to read out a poem about some dumb nigger and slavery and a limbo stick. Pissed me off that one. She only chose me because I made up some fairly obscene rhyme about limbo and she heard it. Then, afterward, she said ‘If **** (name again!) had been brave enough to read it like this, we would have had a better understanding of the true nature of the poem.’ BULL SHIT! You picked me to read it bitch, you can suck my huge, throbbing bell end. She didn’t tell me how to read it and beforehand, I even told her that I was shit at reading poetry. She was also the replacement for some other ignorant bitch who’s favourite saying was ‘I don’t lose coursework’ and then she promptly went and lost one of my mates coursework, making him re-do it all from scratch! Dumb motherfucking bitch.

The teachers who are blissfully unaware. They are mostly substitutes who, when they walk into the lesson, you think ‘Awesome, 50 mins on my iPod or on my phone. I swear that with some of them, I could wave my phone in front of their fucking face and be like “I’m texting my mate! Yay! Texting!’ and they wouldn’t say a thing! Ignorant fuckers. Sorry to end on a bit of a shit note but I don’t really have any awesome stories for this one. Except one time in a lesson, can’t remember which one but I got my iPod out and tried to find an open wifi to connect to and check my email. The teacher waltzed up to me and said ‘What are you doing then? Doesn’t seem like work to me.’ I think I ended up sprouting some bullshit about this was research and how it would benefit my coursework and she bought it dick, balls and clunge-face. It was awesome.


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