Maybe So…

June 22, 2009


Filed under: Life In General — squ1r3ll @ 4:00 pm
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Ok now, a friend helped me a little bit with this one. I’ll put her points up first and then let myself loose from then on. This could go off the rails big style!


‘… with the all-in-one tracksuits, made by Nike which some poor sodding child in Sudan has spent the last remaining hours of it’s life creating but, oh well, as long as it looks “bezzin” it’s all hunky dory.’

‘Oh, and the jewelry they wear too! Don’t even get me started on that.! “Yeah it’s real gold mate innit bear like, all the way from Nazareth.” For a start, they don’t have gold mines in Nazareth and you’re just talking “bear shit” because you probably don’t know where Nazareth is and it won’t be real gold either.’

‘… and you can always tell who the gf’s of these chav’s are, cause they look like Viki Pollard, you can spot their “real gold” jewelry that their bf got them from a mile away. And their orange faces; did your dad fuck a wotsit?!’

Now, even for my standard, this is pretty good. I mean, less swearing than I am used to but that will change. About… NOW! What the fuck do they think they are doing? Fucking with people. I hate those dumb motherfuckers that just love to make every ones life a massive, steaming pile of shit. Plus, their live f normally more of a steaming pile of shit than the poor shit whose life they are trying to fuck with. Silly clungefuckers. The tracksuits really do piss me off. It’s like a universal chav uniform. I mean, when I go out, I like to wear smart casual shit like jeans and a nice t-shirt but when these dumb motherfuckers go out, they wear these all-in-one tracksuits. Which make them look like n00bs. In fact, this is why all of the old faggots like to say ‘Oh, the youth of today‘ and they say it to the normal people. Well, I’m not normal by any stretch of the imagination but I mean to the non chav’s. And those poor Sudanese children. Slave labor really sucks and Nike should be shut down if this is true. Dumb shits.

The jewelry, oh the jewelry. It looks like my baby cousin made it out of the long pasta that you get and painted it gold. It sucks so hard. Most of the time they just buy it from Argos anyway. Not Nazareth. I agree, they don’t even know where the fuck Nazareth is. It’s the childhood residence of Jesus dumb asses. Although, these fuckers probably don’t even know anything about Jesus. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t exactly believe in him myself. I just think people should have some knowledge of religions so that they don’t just piss on everyone¬†else’s. If you want more views on religion from me, check out my ‘religion post.’ You know you want to…

Anyway, chav girlfriends. They are just all fucking sluts and slags. Incidentally, check out that post ‘HERE.’ I will say that all of them don’t look like Viki Pollard, most are far, far worse. Fucking spots coming out of every millimeter of their body that they have had an EPIC MAKEUP FAIL whilst trying to cover them up. I feel like telling to not even bother because even with shitloads of makeup on, they still look as ugly as my left ass cheek. Slappers. Also, wotsit fucking is just weird as fuck. Why would you fuck a little orange piece of shit that most people just eat? Silly orange motherfuckers. How can they possibly think they look anything close to good with a face as orange as a fucking tangerine. It just looks fucking ridiculous and I don’t see how they can have the balls to go in public looking as shit as that.

Now onto some points of my own. What i also don’t get is how fucking hard they think they are. It does my head in. They are always going ‘Yeah, you want a fight mate? Yeah? You want some?’ The best thing to say to them then is ‘Yeah, go on then. If you insist.’ Because they will either make up some lame ass excuse about not wanting to stove your head in or they just won’t show. In reality, they are all just pussies. We all know it in our bell end of bell ends. It’s sad really. How come they can’t just be normal fuckers lie the rest of us. They have to ‘stand out‘ from the crown and make the rest of the youth of today look like tit fuckers.

I think I may have mentioned this earlier on but why the fuck do they have to spoil it for the rest of us. Like the shop down the road from me only allows two school kids in at one time. TWO! It sounds ridiculous but I can see their point. Back in the old days where any amount of dumb ass motherfucking school kids could go in, all of the chavs used to go inside in groups and one of them would buy something and the rest of them would all take a drink or a chocolate bar. I just kept on thinking why? Why the fuck steal something that’s only worth 60P anyway? It’s not worth getting nicked for. Just pay the 60P so that everyone else doesn’t think that your a complete dumb ass.


As you can probably tell, the two of us fucking hate chavs with a passion. Surprise!


May 19, 2009


Filed under: Gaming,Life In General,Rants,Technology — squ1r3ll @ 5:42 pm
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Ahhh lag. The n00bs best friend. But why? Why do they have to fuck up everyone’s games because of it? Here, I am talking about the retards that like to piss people off by creating lag themselves and I honestly do not see the fun in that. Why not just get your experience the way that every other muffmuncher in the world does? Because you’re a muffdiver. You’re a willydribbler and a knobgobbler. Yes, I do sometimes come up with new insults in my sleep. Clunge is my new favourite but I got that one from a TV show.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. The people who just have shit connections because they are on Orange internet of some shit like that are kind of excused but for fucks sake, just get a decent connection. What pisses me off more than both of these is the people who have a shit connection but don’t even know it. They proceed to blame the lag in their match on some other poor retard and I don’t think that that’s very fair. Especially when they have Orange internet (which is shit by the way) and the person that they are accusing has BT (which is a fuckload better than Orange).

I was just on Gears of War 2 (which is an awesome game) and me and a couple of mates had an awesome Annex match which we kicked pubes on. Then, we had another Annex match and everything was really fucking laggy. There was one guy out of both teams that seemed to be walking around fine and getting shitloads of kills with his chainsaw and shotgun. I think it was fairly obvious that it was him creating the lag. He was also on about level 70 odd which means that he had either been doing the lagging for a very long time or he had just got bored of playing properly and decided to fuck with people’s experience.


Anyway, with this not being such a long post as the first one, I should be able to do another one sooner although I think that having something new to rant about each day is fairly hard to do, I think I will manage as I am a rather angry person.

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