Maybe So…

July 22, 2009

School Pt. 2 – Sports Day

Filed under: School — squ1r3ll @ 10:00 am
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Ah, sports day. A non-sport oriented persons nightmare and a wonderously shit day for most involved. I only say most because there are some silly fuckers who actually like it.

Why do schools feel the need to fuck with the nerdy and fat people and make them compete with other much more sporty and fit people? All it does is lower morale and make people hate the school and other people much, much more.

This year, I was pretty much forced to run the 800 metres and I am not a runner in any sense of the word. I came last which was NOT a surprise as everyone in it could have beat me if they all had swine flu and no legs. Besides one fat little fuck but I was so tired by the end that he could have done the same. I just hate it when you’re last by a fucking mile and you’re coming down the final straight and then everyone in the whole fucking school gets to humiliate you by cheering and saying ‘go on ***’ when they really couldn’t give a shit if you won or lost. That’s what really bites my dick about the general public; their willingness to follow each other. I am, as you have probably already read, very opinionated but the rest of the world seem scared to share their opinions with anyone because they think they will get in trouble. Well really, they will and so would I if any important person ever found this but I don’t give a flying shit! If they find it, so what? They will know what I think. The likelihood is that I’ve probably already told them or showed them in some way or other. If I haven’t, I will sometime soon…


July 20, 2009

Mini Rant #5 – Activities Week

Filed under: Life In General,School — squ1r3ll @ 5:00 pm
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I think it’s fair to say that Activities Week suck some serious dick. The point of Activities Week is to give some teachers a chance to piss all over us because we haven’t done our coursework and other teachers a chance to do sweet sweet fuck all for a week. That is, the teachers who don’t take us get to sit on their lazy teacher asses while we don’t have their lessons. Cheeky fucks. It even has a fucking stupid name!

July 3, 2009


Filed under: Life In General,School — squ1r3ll @ 4:00 pm
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As a friend of mine once said ‘A school is the safest place for a child to be’ but this quote is clearly bullshit. He agrees with me. A school is not safe. No amount of teachers can stop the verbal bullying or even the physical bullying. People will always be bullied for one reason or another; the colour of their skin or hair, their height, their sex or the amount of people that they have fucked. The human race will always have retards who must compete with each other. Especially in the field of education. Harder, better, faster, stronger. If you are an academic then you compete with other kids over grades; if you are a sporty motherfucker then you compete with other sporty motherfuckers to see who is better at football or cricket. It’s all bullshit really. There is no need to compete with anyone really. I mean, if you hate them and just want to step on their balls, beating them at something that they love is one of the best ways to do it.

A prime example of this is that today we got our end of year reports. Or grade sheets. Or (insert different word for the same thing here). Whatever you call them. it doesn’t matter because the point is this: everyone just fucking argues over them. For the clever fuckers it’s how many ‘exceptional’ grades for effort and shit that they got and for the dumb fuckers, it’s how many detentions or PPP’s (Problem Pupil Profiles. A shit idea really) they got. It saddens me to the core because really we should be either happy with the reports that we got or sad in the knowledge that we need to do better but probably never will…


In later posts, I will enlighten you all on the other aspects of school life; assessments, sports day, school taboo’s and shit like that. So look out for those and in the mean time, I suppose, I will write them! Bye all.

June 26, 2009

Guest Post #3 – Winny on English Teachers

Filed under: Guest Rants,School — squ1r3ll @ 4:00 pm
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(OK, I’m not going to correct any of the spelling errors in this post as I think it makes it all the more enjoyable!)

What can I say there all bastards. Jus because a NAZI following power fucker gives them a job they can run the bloody school. They can do wat the fuck they want when it come to school but I would pay to meet them out side and se them on fire. As u can tell I feel very strongly for the death of all English teachers let me tell you y. it started with a teacher who I can only describes as though she was raped by a monkey at birth and from the very start she hated me, no not hated wanted to fuckin fail me. First she loses all my work this proper pissed me off so I got my parents to go in and talk to her she shit herself and decided to do all my work for me. Teaches her fuckin right, moody bitches all of them. At last she’d left the fuckin building only to find that her fuck ugly twin had replaced her, now this bitch, she was worse she made me want the monkey fucked at birth teacher back. She looked like an under privileged Nigerian butt plug maker. So the story goes on I finish my coursework with high Bs but that’s not fuckin good enough is it the fucker wanted As and I couldn’t give her fuckin As because I aint the brightest fucker when it comes to English but I aint the dumbest shit there either. And then the worst she threatens to stop me going on this trip at the end of the year typical feltcher so no matter wat the fucker says I goin so fuck all of erm. Now today me and my mate were on the topic of vagicil for those who don’t know (cream for women who have a rash on there Minge) I we said is there such a thing as anasil for ur arse then began a list of different ones such as sodisil for gays shaftasil bellendasil and my favourite necrofilasil which refers to my teacher. Now your thinking he’s jus goin say she goes out and uses it but I wont I’m saying she’s been the victim of it being used on because she looks like she needs a good moistening so in the end they’re all cunts.

(It did, right?)

June 12, 2009

Slags and Sluts

Filed under: Life In General,Rants,School — squ1r3ll @ 4:00 pm
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Why do some girls feel the need to rub up against every boy they can find? I just don’t get it… Right then, these slags love to piss everyone off. They suck off girls boyfriends. Hell, they’ve probably done shit to boys girlfriends as well. It’s not even like they feel regret at all for the shit they they’ve done. Fuck no, that would be to human. They fucking love it. The hatred that everyone looks at them with. The fake apologies that they give (‘I didn’t mean to suck him off at all, it just happened’). I swear that they prepare those beforehand so that they can make them sound as fake and pathetic as possible.

Who would shag one of these filthy birds anyway? They probably have every STD under the sun. AIDS, chlamydia, gonnorrhea, you name it, they carry it. I suppose only very desperate lads would put it in their filthy holes because these dumb whores really are whores. I suppose if you paid them enough, they would flash a teacher for you.

What’s with prostitutes anyway? I mean, I know that they have to get money and shit but come on, can’t you just not go into dangerous situations and get the shit beaten out of you. If your a rent girl then at least have a nonviolent pimp or an agency looking after you until you know what to do about scoping out situations and shit. That way, you can stay safe!

I guess the phrase ‘girls just wanna have fun’ has been blown wildly our of proportion. The bitches nowadays think that fun is sleeping with any guy that they can get their hands on and it kind of makes me sick. I sort of feel sorry for the guys who they sleep with as part of their little competition. This may not be fact but I bet some have even had competitions to see how many STD’s they can get in a week and shit like that. Or how many times they can take it up the ass in a day. You know, sick shit like that. Dirty fuckers. (which, in this case, is actually true!)

I just found a wonderful quote: ‘Are we simply romantically challenged, or are we sluts?’ Well, this sums it up. No you’re not romantically challenged, you just like fucking. You could have a real relationship if you really tried. I’m sure that if you just went out with a dude for a while, you would find out that fucking isn’t everything in a relationship. You can still fuck, you don’t have to be celibate, just don’t shag five times a day. Or you could try celibacy if you felt like a very strong person. But you probably don’t. So ‘just keep on fuckin.’ Not to advocate mindless shagging and shit like that but a bit of sex once in a while never hurt anyone. Unless you’re trying out some very strange positions. Don’t. You might hurt yourself. Karma Sutra is dangerous.


Kind of a small one there but I really hate slags. There you go!

June 3, 2009


Filed under: Life In General,Rants,School — squ1r3ll @ 10:04 pm
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For this rant I must firstly define some types of teachers:

  1. Great Teachers
  2. Good Teachers
  3. Crap Teachers
  4. Teachers Who Are Out To Get Students
  5. Teachers Who Are Blissfully Unaware


Ok, with those defined, I can move the fuck on. Every teacher that I have ever been taught by has had his or her own little quirk to the way that they teach, some more than others. Some have the overpowering and ‘scary’ approach where they are kind of oppressing and ‘If you don’t pay attention in my fucking class, I’ll rape the shit out of your mother!’ Which kind of fucks me off to be honest. Why do these people feel the urge to piss all over students and make them feel like shit. It’s bullying really and at my school, we have a ‘No Bullying’ policy. I think I’ll report some of the teachers to it and say that they are giving me shit that I don’t deserve.

First on the list, great teachers. Great teachers are really hard to find. They, unfortunately, are the minority. My German teacher last year was an awesome teacher. He had just the right teaching method for me and whatever he said, I would absorb and retain. Not like a fucking robot or anything, just the stuff that he taught us about German. Our maths teacher last year was also awesome. He would teach everyone the same thing and then for the less intelligent, he would take questions at the front and relate the answers to things that the student in question knows about. Then he would let us get on with it and I was one of the people who finished early so he would get the people who had finished to look up at the board and then he would give us a few hard questions to do to check that we have the basic concept down and the he would teach us a little bit extra on top of what we had just done so that we could get on with some more questions whilst the slow ones finished up. I also had a great teacher in Year 4 but I don’t remember her so much.

Now, onto good teachers. Good teachers are the ones that you learn from, but you either get a bit bored in their class because they don’t do enough to keep you glued to the lesson or they just don’t have great teaching methods. My current maths teacher is a good example of this. If he could control his class (the lesson would be more boring!) then we would learn so much more than we already do.

Oh, ho. Crap teachers. Or as I like to call them, clunge-monkeys, cunt-muscles or dickfaces. These are the hopeless ones. Some you feel sorry for as they are trying but haven’t got the nouse to realize that they suck at their job and some you just loathe because they are full of themselves but for no real reason. This is a perfect example of my ICT teacher. She thinks she is THE shit. Honestly sometimes, it scares me. She struts around the classroom going ‘Oh, that’s a lovely colour’ and ‘Oh, **** (that was a name) isn’t that wonderful.’ It sounds more condescending than it does helpful and she thinks that she is the judge, jury and executioner. She’s only a trainee teacher anyhow. She has pretty much fuck all authority. If I told her point blank to fuck off, she couldn’t do jack shit about it. But she thinks that she can. There’s not even a real teacher in the room because our actual teacher has fucked off and abandoned us for 12 months on maternity leave. A whole fucking 12 months! Fucking ridiculous. Dumb fucking clunge-munching bitch.

Teachers who are out to get students. Why in the holy name of fuck do these kinds of people get jobs in the education profession. It makes fuck all sense to me as they should really just be bodyguards or hit men or rapists or something like that. Once they have found their student to pick on, that’s it. That student’s life is over in that subject. Unless they are moving sets or something. Like me in English. Our teacher chose me to read out a poem about some dumb nigger and slavery and a limbo stick. Pissed me off that one. She only chose me because I made up some fairly obscene rhyme about limbo and she heard it. Then, afterward, she said ‘If **** (name again!) had been brave enough to read it like this, we would have had a better understanding of the true nature of the poem.’ BULL SHIT! You picked me to read it bitch, you can suck my huge, throbbing bell end. She didn’t tell me how to read it and beforehand, I even told her that I was shit at reading poetry. She was also the replacement for some other ignorant bitch who’s favourite saying was ‘I don’t lose coursework’ and then she promptly went and lost one of my mates coursework, making him re-do it all from scratch! Dumb motherfucking bitch.

The teachers who are blissfully unaware. They are mostly substitutes who, when they walk into the lesson, you think ‘Awesome, 50 mins on my iPod or on my phone. I swear that with some of them, I could wave my phone in front of their fucking face and be like “I’m texting my mate! Yay! Texting!’ and they wouldn’t say a thing! Ignorant fuckers. Sorry to end on a bit of a shit note but I don’t really have any awesome stories for this one. Except one time in a lesson, can’t remember which one but I got my iPod out and tried to find an open wifi to connect to and check my email. The teacher waltzed up to me and said ‘What are you doing then? Doesn’t seem like work to me.’ I think I ended up sprouting some bullshit about this was research and how it would benefit my coursework and she bought it dick, balls and clunge-face. It was awesome.


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