Maybe So…

June 24, 2009


Filed under: Life In General — squ1r3ll @ 4:00 pm
Tags: , ,


I really don’t see why people are offended by swearing. They are just words. ‘Fuck’ is just a four letter word, as is the word ‘book.’ People say book every day but some frown on the people like me who say ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’ too much. Really, this kind of ‘Holier Than Thou’ attitude gets on my tits so bad as these dumb mouthbreathers can’t seem to try and blend with society; they just want to be high up motherfuckers and act like they are better than everyone else in the whole motherfucking world. When I tell a joke and people frown on it or they say ‘Your sense of humor is very crude,’ I just have to say ‘No shit.’ Some people love my type of humor and will wet themselves listening to me go on for fifty whole minutes (you know who you are!) but others feel the need to piss all over me for it. Even the nicest, most respectful girl in our fucking class laughed at me a little bit, she didn’t feel the need to shot all over me and say ‘Oh, that’s disgusting.’ No, she fucking enjoyed herself listening to the foul shit that comes out of my mouth like VD. Not the STI VD, the Verbal Dihorrea VD. Make more sense now? No? Good.

Swearing is also an integral part of life. Without swearing, we would not be able to get our point across half as well. We can either say ‘Oh, that silly girl jumped out in front of my car’ or we can say ‘That crazy bitch jumped in front of my fucking car!’ Sure, the latter is a little bit more angry but at the expense of what? People moral values? Bull shit. If swearing offends you, don’t associate yourself with me. You would probably start to piss me off very soon after we met anyway. It’s best to keep the prudes with the prudes and the normal, swearing people with the normal, swearing people.

Then, there’s the people who swear too much. I swear too much but I’m talking about the over excessive people who try and fit four swear words into every fucking sentence. That’s a talent really. I can’t believe what i just said. Perfect example. I just called them ‘swear words.’ Today’s children are being brought up with the views that ‘Swearing is wrong and I shouldn’t do it.’ It’s not like you’re raping a young, defenseless woman and then dumping her in a lake to let her drown. There are just words. If I ever have a kid, I won’t swear that much around him but when he starts hearing swearing from other people, then I won’t mind if he swears in the house. I won’t ground him for three weeks for saying that something is ‘shit’ or ‘crap’ because those words will never hurt anybody. Anyway, back onto topic point at hand; the people who use too many swear words just make it harder for the rest of us. Because it’s like racial stereotypes; we ‘swearers’ are all the same to the prudes. If a prude hears one person swear eight times per sentence then she will think that he is a ‘silly individual’ and when she/he hears me say ‘shit’ or ‘fuck’ then she/he will tarnish me with the same brush. Even though I am really a nice young man (no, really), she/he will think that I am just a cussing motherfucker. Although she/he wouldn’t use the word ‘motherfucker.’

The use of a swear word can release tension or help pain. If you walk into a lamppost and then promptly shout ‘FUCK!’ then you will feel much better because you let the rage escape than you would if you had suffered in silence. I also think that this is why children cry more than adults. Kids don’t fall over and say ‘Oh bollocks that hurt’ they simply just cry. Which is a little irritating. I wish kids could just say ‘FUCK!’ when they failed to walk or fell down a slide the wrong way because this would be much easier on the world’s ears than if they just cried all the fucking time like they do now. As you can tell, crying babies really piss me the fuck off. See, right then, there was no need for me to use so many ‘swear words’ but it made me feel a bit better because I did.

In a fairly twisted and roundabout way, swearing is like busting a nut. Some dudes do swear when they bust a nut. Busting a nut, for the unaware, is jizzing, cumming, spunking or all of the other random words that mean when sticky white stuff comes out of your bell end. Crude, I know but i like to be blunt. Swearing is a release of tension I guess. Unless you’re one of those weird motherfuckers that just can’t stop swearing. Like the ones with tourettes. I think I may have a mild bout of tourettes. People with touretts are funny. The kind of tourettes that includes random iterations of the words ‘fuck,’ ‘shit,’ ‘bollocks,’ ‘cunt,’ etc. People who make fun of people with touretts make me ashamed to live on the same planet as them. These people can’t help it so why are you making fun of them for it?


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