Maybe So…

June 3, 2009


Filed under: Life In General,Rants,School — squ1r3ll @ 10:04 pm
Tags: , , , ,

For this rant I must firstly define some types of teachers:

  1. Great Teachers
  2. Good Teachers
  3. Crap Teachers
  4. Teachers Who Are Out To Get Students
  5. Teachers Who Are Blissfully Unaware


Ok, with those defined, I can move the fuck on. Every teacher that I have ever been taught by has had his or her own little quirk to the way that they teach, some more than others. Some have the overpowering and ‘scary’ approach where they are kind of oppressing and ‘If you don’t pay attention in my fucking class, I’ll rape the shit out of your mother!’ Which kind of fucks me off to be honest. Why do these people feel the urge to piss all over students and make them feel like shit. It’s bullying really and at my school, we have a ‘No Bullying’ policy. I think I’ll report some of the teachers to it and say that they are giving me shit that I don’t deserve.

First on the list, great teachers. Great teachers are really hard to find. They, unfortunately, are the minority. My German teacher last year was an awesome teacher. He had just the right teaching method for me and whatever he said, I would absorb and retain. Not like a fucking robot or anything, just the stuff that he taught us about German. Our maths teacher last year was also awesome. He would teach everyone the same thing and then for the less intelligent, he would take questions at the front and relate the answers to things that the student in question knows about. Then he would let us get on with it and I was one of the people who finished early so he would get the people who had finished to look up at the board and then he would give us a few hard questions to do to check that we have the basic concept down and the he would teach us a little bit extra on top of what we had just done so that we could get on with some more questions whilst the slow ones finished up. I also had a great teacher in Year 4 but I don’t remember her so much.

Now, onto good teachers. Good teachers are the ones that you learn from, but you either get a bit bored in their class because they don’t do enough to keep you glued to the lesson or they just don’t have great teaching methods. My current maths teacher is a good example of this. If he could control his class (the lesson would be more boring!) then we would learn so much more than we already do.

Oh, ho. Crap teachers. Or as I like to call them, clunge-monkeys, cunt-muscles or dickfaces. These are the hopeless ones. Some you feel sorry for as they are trying but haven’t got the nouse to realize that they suck at their job and some you just loathe because they are full of themselves but for no real reason. This is a perfect example of my ICT teacher. She thinks she is THE shit. Honestly sometimes, it scares me. She struts around the classroom going ‘Oh, that’s a lovely colour’ and ‘Oh, **** (that was a name) isn’t that wonderful.’ It sounds more condescending than it does helpful and she thinks that she is the judge, jury and executioner. She’s only a trainee teacher anyhow. She has pretty much fuck all authority. If I told her point blank to fuck off, she couldn’t do jack shit about it. But she thinks that she can. There’s not even a real teacher in the room because our actual teacher has fucked off and abandoned us for 12 months on maternity leave. A whole fucking 12 months! Fucking ridiculous. Dumb fucking clunge-munching bitch.

Teachers who are out to get students. Why in the holy name of fuck do these kinds of people get jobs in the education profession. It makes fuck all sense to me as they should really just be bodyguards or hit men or rapists or something like that. Once they have found their student to pick on, that’s it. That student’s life is over in that subject. Unless they are moving sets or something. Like me in English. Our teacher chose me to read out a poem about some dumb nigger and slavery and a limbo stick. Pissed me off that one. She only chose me because I made up some fairly obscene rhyme about limbo and she heard it. Then, afterward, she said ‘If **** (name again!) had been brave enough to read it like this, we would have had a better understanding of the true nature of the poem.’ BULL SHIT! You picked me to read it bitch, you can suck my huge, throbbing bell end. She didn’t tell me how to read it and beforehand, I even told her that I was shit at reading poetry. She was also the replacement for some other ignorant bitch who’s favourite saying was ‘I don’t lose coursework’ and then she promptly went and lost one of my mates coursework, making him re-do it all from scratch! Dumb motherfucking bitch.

The teachers who are blissfully unaware. They are mostly substitutes who, when they walk into the lesson, you think ‘Awesome, 50 mins on my iPod or on my phone. I swear that with some of them, I could wave my phone in front of their fucking face and be like “I’m texting my mate! Yay! Texting!’ and they wouldn’t say a thing! Ignorant fuckers. Sorry to end on a bit of a shit note but I don’t really have any awesome stories for this one. Except one time in a lesson, can’t remember which one but I got my iPod out and tried to find an open wifi to connect to and check my email. The teacher waltzed up to me and said ‘What are you doing then? Doesn’t seem like work to me.’ I think I ended up sprouting some bullshit about this was research and how it would benefit my coursework and she bought it dick, balls and clunge-face. It was awesome.


1 Comment »

  1. haha – ‘if he could control the class’

    do you really think that will ever happen? your one of the most talkative in that room!

    Comment by melissa — June 4, 2009 @ 7:26 pm | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: